Dating Boot Camp: Tip #1: Cosmic Loneliness

Get a Date, Seal The Deal and Make Your Love Last

Being gay in the dating world can leave you in the trenches. Take back your dating life with the Dating Boot Camp filled with the tips and tools you need to get a date, seal the deal and make your relationship last. I will post a total of 10 new tips to help you on your way to a better dating life.

Tip #1: Cosmic Loneliness
A Man Won’t Cure The Loneliness

In Their Eyes Were Watching God, author Zora Neale Hurston asks, “Did marriage end the cosmic loneliness of the unmated?”

The quick answer is no. As is the theme of Hurston’s classic, any one person’s wholeness is affected by, but not fulfilled through, a relationship. Many of us are of the notion that finding a relationship will complete us. However, despite what our math teacher taught, a half plus a half doesn’t always equal a whole. It takes two complete people to produce the sum of a healthy partnership (or each person needs to be as complete as possible).

They say you must first love yourself before you can be loved or love another. Part of loving yourself is being able to tolerate and enjoy spending time with yourself. Entering into a relationship as a remedy for loneliness or any other need puts undo pressure on your partner and your relationship when it’s you that must actively work to resolve your needs. The relationship may solve your immediate wants, but the issues surrounding your longings will only resurface until you resolve them.

Should we all be content living alone? Of course not. Companionship is a wonderful addition to our lives. We’re human after all. The ideal situation, however, is to allow companionship to compliment our lives and not become a substitute for what’s missing. A partner won’t cure the loneliness.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo