Manthropology: Sex With A Couple

What’s making their bulges so big: The desire to get off with someone else other than each other. 

What’s on their coffee table: Decorative items, coasters.

What’s under their coffee table: Board games for social mixers with other couples, porn (videos and magazines).

What’s in their wallets: Businss cards, charge cards, pictures of each other and their pets, condoms for random consented hook-ups with other guys.

What’s under their bed: More porn, sex toys used on the last guy they had over, extra set of sheets and guest linens.

Family tree: “We’re exploring”

With all of these “open relationships” around, this seems to be happening a lot more than I thought, so I figured I’d better include it in the Manthropology Guide. Other then at a club night, your best chance of hooking up with a hot and horny couple is at a regular cocktail party. Get yourself invited to one that is being hosted by a couple, and you can be sure the place will be crawling with other couples. As the liquor consumption increases, so do your odds of ending up in a three-way. Work the room and you might be lucky enough to score.

They’ll want to take you to their place which is likely to have an enormous bed anyway, so you might as well enjoy it. Once you’re inside, the clothes will come off pretty quickly since everyone present already knows it’s just about the sex. Rule number one: you are going to be more attracted to one of the guys than the other, but you can’t play favorites. If you don’t think you can do this, then keep your eyes closed. That way, you won’t know whose mouth is massaging Mr. Happy, and better yet; you won’t care. Chances are they will treat you like visiting royalty so be prepared for lots of manual, oral, and anal action; often, all at the same time. After a while you won’t know who’s doing what to whom and they’ll be so many condoms on the floor afterward walking to the bathroom will be like walking your way through a mine field.

Sex with a couple will test your versatility title as you know they’ll either a top and bottom or both versatile and will both want to play with you. You not only want to tantalize them with your technique and dazzle them with your diligence, you also want to let them know that you and Little Elvis are up for just about anything they can serve.

Post sex, there is usually no need for you to do anything since they will assume their hosting duties. There will be two of them to handle the warm, wet towel action, condom disposal and some more water for you to rehydrate. I generally don’t recommend a sleepover with couples since you never know what kind of drama might break out in the morning. But if they ask you to stay, and you think you want to, don’t just flop down in the middle; let them decide who goes where and don’t be surprised when you wake up with two boners poking around your booty.

Hot, sweaty sex potential: (More bodies, more heat, more sweat.)

Getting some real estate out of the deal potential: (Very low, but you may snag an invitation to their vacation house for a repeater)

Long-term relationship potential: (A LTR with a couple is something completely different; it’s usually known by the more pedestrian term “House Boy”)

Good stories to tell your friends over brunch potential: (If they’re not copping an attitude, they’ll be pitching tents under the table)

Possible bonus points: Picking up decorating tips from the couple, and knowing you could finally write your own piece for a porno magazine.

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