People You Shouldn’t Date

Getting involved with these people is more likely to result in heartache than happiness.

It’s a fact of love. There are certain people you just shouldn’t date. Of course, they’re often the very people you find yourself wanting to date.

Now, this isn’t to say these relationships can never work out. I’m sure many people can come up with an example of each of these relationships that turned out just tickety-boo.
But that doesn’t make me wrong. Getting involved with these people is more likely to result in heartache than happiness.

Your Employee

The reasons for not dating your employee are similar to those for not dating your boss, just in reverse. Your colleagues will question your judgement and your other underlings could resent you. Lover’s spats will create office tension and the power dynamic (mentioned before) can rock you out of your position of authority. Things can get ugly if you need to lay off or fire your lover. Not to mention, there’s a good chance you might get fired yourself.

Your Therapist

Oh, what a cliché! Your therapist really listens, he/she understands you better than anyone else, you can really open up! Yeah. That’s a therapist’s job. You should question the moral integrity of any doctor who would violate professional ethics by getting romantically involved with a patient. Your vulnerability makes the action a predatory one. You’ve likely told this person things you’ve never told anyone and this means they know too much.

Someone Else’s Husband/Wife

Obvious. Right? Then why do so many people get caught up in extramarital affairs? Nothing good can come of being the other woman/man. You’re part of a deception, you’re hurting someone and you’re enabling your ‘partner´ to be an irresponsible, self centred liar. Cheating is childish and cruel and you will only wind up getting hurt in the long run. Some people waste years of their lives in such relationships, only to wake up one day and realize the opportunity for true love and a family may have passed them by. Don’t do it to yourself.

Your Friend’s Ex

Unless your friend is really cool, even if they say it’s OK, it’s not. They’re lying. Dating a friend’s ex can cause a world of hurt. Even if your friend is the one who initiated the break up, there can be residual feelings of romance and resentment. It will pain your friend to see you together and, if you decide to try to avoid that situation, you’ll have to make sure you’re never all in the same place at the same time, which can be a nightmare. Also, you might find yourself worrying that there’s still a spark between the two. And you might be right.

Your Own Ex

OK, I flip flopped about putting this one in but came down on the side of inclusion. Here’s why: you broke up. And even if there’s love and affection, there’s also bad blood. Resentments, in most cases, will eventually bubble to the surface and boil over and you’ll be right back where you started – apart and hating each other. Because remember that annoying thing they did that used to drive you CRAZY? They still do it.

John Mayer (Just for Laughs)

Yeah, he’s kind of cute and he says your body is a wonderland. But he’s a(n alleged) womanizing heartbreaker! And we use John here to represent all womanizing heartbreakers. Stay away. Also, he blabs about his love life to the press. Jessica Simpson was apparently none to impressed when he referred to her as ‘sexual napalm’ in an interview (though some might see that as positive publicity). Rumour is that Taylor Swift’s song ‘Dear John’ is about her romance with Mayer. Oh, for that matter, don’t date Taylor Swift, unless you want to wind up the subject of one of her songs.

Know of any other obvious bad people to date? Send your comments to Gossip Guy at gossipguy@bell.net or comment in the comment box below to give your insight.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

Happy New Years: Top 10 Tips For Better Sex

I thought that since a new year is upon us (how were those hangovers kids?) that I would start it off with something a little spicier then usual; some advice for behind closed doors (open for some of you naughtier kids).

A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It won’t always be easy — our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having good sex doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking; it can be as simple as doing something a little different just for a change.

Therefore, it’s important to add a few more stimulating aspects to your sex life to keep things interesting.

Here are Gossip Guy’s top 10 tips for better sex, which should keep the two of you hot for some time to come.

No.10 Blindfold Them

Sexual pleasure has many dimensions, but the most important sexual organ we have is our brain. When one sense is hindered, our other senses — via the brain — clamor to compensate. For example, a deaf person has increased sensory awareness — sight, smell, touch, and vibrations.

For our No. 10 entry on our top 10 tips for better sex, we’re telling you that you can tap into this innate ability of ours and use it to your advantage. Blindfolding your partner increases their sensory awareness. They don’t know where you are or what you are going to do next. This creates anticipation for better sex — the tease. Tease mercilessly with sensory objects, such as a feather or your tongue. Start off softly, as this excites nerve endings and makes them far more sensitive. Be careful not to over stimulate the nerve endings, however, because after a while the neurons stop firing with such intensity and the sensation becomes null and void.

No.9 Give Them Instructions

After a while you may think you know how to please your partner in every way, but this is very rarely true. There is always something you haven’t tried, and there is bound to be something one of you always does that could be done differently.

To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you know it all, and are at each others’ mercy as teacher. Talk about things you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from each partner, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes “the way it’s done.” Lose this sex myth and put yourself in the student’s chair for a while to achieve better sex.

No.8 Massage

Sensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you can do for your partner. Our bodies are almost without exception tense in some area, if not many areas. This hinders our energy flow — including sexual energy flow. Imagine a car that has a clogged fuel filter: The fuel (our energy) can’t get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly, and the car performs inefficiently.

A relaxing, sensual massage can unlock the body to some very intense orgasms and much better sex in the end. The ability to relax your partner in this way should be high on your list of skills to master. The same goes for them: The difference between a deeply relaxing massage and a sensual massage is in the manner of touch — you don’t want to relax them too deeply because they will probably fall straight to sleep.

The key to better sex in this case is to keep the senses alert, but the body relaxed. This means a firm touch, coupled with some sensory feather light caresses. Once you’ve relaxed the major muscles — shoulders and back — work your way down to the buttocks. Strokes can then start to wander near to, but not on, her inner thighs, butt crease and endogenous zones. Don’t forget the hands and feet — there are thousands of nerve endings in our hands and feet that are very sensitive to touch. If you have no idea what a good massage feels like or how to perform one, spend some time in “lesson time” with your partner and learn what you both like, or just run your hands all over her body — all over. Don’t skip to the hot spots or you’ll ruin the effect.

No.7 Have Them Dress Up

Pretending to be something you’re not comes easily to some people. However, it has its benefits when done for fun. Stepping out of the role of being “yourself” can be a fun way to give each other permission to behave differently for better sex. Playing the role of someone else during sexual play is a very enjoyable way to give your partner some different sensations. Role playing is a great way to have better sex and to have fun with your partner in a lighthearted but sexy way — but don’t forget that you can play too.

No.6 Tell Them Your Fantasies

Talking about your sexual fantasies with your partner is a very healthy form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner and helps you get to know each other better. Yes, you may be surprised by what comes out of their mouth, but this works both ways. Keep it light at first and don’t throw them in the deep end with fantasies about people you both know or reveal fetishes you aren’t sure about. Sit back with a glass of wine and keep your clothes on — for now. Fantasy play can also be incorporated into a game for better sex. Use your imagination and keep it sexy. Take it in turns and see where it leads you.

No.5 Play A Game

Get a pack of cards and play strip poker for better sex. It may seem like something you would have done when you were in high school (given the opportunity), but adult strip poker is a good way to get naked. Once you are both naked (or nearly naked), you can start on the really fun part: A loss means the other person gets to choose what action is performed on them by the loser. Time limits like one minute on said action means that it is a prolonged game of seduction, which by the end will have you both clamoring to be both the winner and the loser. There are many other games you can play “strip” to, as long as there is regular winner and loser rewards and punishments. The great part about these games is that you can both ask the other person to do something in a certain way that you may not necessarily have ever done before. It can get rather filthy, and definitely lead to better sex in the end.

No.4 Dirty Talk

Talking dirty has turned people on for decades and will continue to do so because it has something other sex play doesn’t: words. Because our brains are our largest sexual apparatus, we respond to the spoken word automatically — especially when someone says our name. The spoken word evokes emotions, sensations and blood flow to various regions, depending on the topic.

This works very much in your favor when it comes to talking dirty to your lover because people are especially susceptible to what goes in their ears (and I don’t mean cotton buds or ear candles). Talking dirty is, however, an art form and when done badly can result in fits of giggles (which, let’s face it, ain’t so bad but isn’t quite the goal here). Don’t let this deter you.

No.3 Try A New Position

You already know how to make them orgasm in two ways (probably). You repeat these regularly because they work — there’s no harm in that. However, if you never try any new positions, how will you ever know? New positions need a reasonably high level of arousal in your lover, so choose your time to strike a new pose when they are quite obviously feeling very randy.  

There is no limit to the number of ways to have sex, so you can use your imagination and come up with as many weird and wonderful inventions as you desire. Simply changing locations can dramatically change the position, so consider this too (for example, on top of the washing machine, on a bench, beanbag, or table). 

No.2 Use A Cock Ring

Cock rings slow the drain of blood out of your erection, and keep you harder for longer. A very hard penis stimulates slightly differently — and much better — than one that is getting soft around the edges. Cock rings are inexpensive and usually nice to look at, and make an interesting male sex toy to add to your collection. Cock rings ensure that you can maintain the pace without faltering for better sex. This is very pleasing to your sexual friend. 

No.1 Try A New Place

Sex in a new locale is definitely up there in exciting things to do for better sex. You can take a drive somewhere secluded where you can get a bit risqué. Try a public place (not too public), or simply move to a different room or area in your home — or even someone else’s home. Whatever tickles your fancy. There are a million and one different places to have sex other than your home and in your bed — use them.

So what do you do to play it up in the bedroom? Share your sexy tips with Gossip Guy at gossipguy@bell.net or comment in the comments box below.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

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Top Gay Dating Tips to Land a Partner for 2010

Ah the crisp cool smell of winter and the feeling of 10 extra pounds strapped to your waist after gorging at your family’s Christmas dinner.  Doesn’t the spirit of the holiday season make us all just a little more aware of our fellow man… or lack of one?

Whether you are gay, bisexual, lesbian or bi-curious, the majority of people without a special someone around the holidays will usually re-evaluate their situation and try to promise themselves that THIS year coming up, will be the one where they find the ultimate partner (especially after answering that annoying question each and every one of your family members will ask, “Where’s your partner?” or “Why don’t you have a partner?”). 

However, this far in life finding that perfect partner can be a daunting task, especially if you are stepping outside of just “dating” for the first time (we all know what I mean).  The trick of course, is to land that first date and then all the questions ensue.  How should you dress? Where should you go? What should you say or not say? One thing is for sure, remember to be yourself and be relaxed. Below are a series of gay dating tips collected from the internet this year aimed at helping you make that date a real success and hopefully land that partner you “said” you wanted in 2011.

The Top Gay Dating Tips to Land a Partner for 2010:

1. Location, location, location! Choosing a meeting place is extremely important. Agree to meet at a place that is neutral, not too far from your dwellings and be familiar with the area (of course so you can dodge out quickly if need be). You would want to also choose a place that is not too noisy or rowdy, more like a quiet pub or restaurant where you can both communicate and be heard effectively.

2. Concentrate my dear! Dating can always be extremely tense and nerve racking, especially if you are the quiet or shy type. One point to remember is to listen carefully to what your date has to say, this will enable you to relate and connect more easily.

3. A little bit of give and take: Share the conversation, ask as many questions as you like, feel free to talk about yourself, but also be courteous and listen to what the other person has to say. No one likes to be audience at a date; there are two people attempting to have a good time together.

4. What was in the past is better left in the past: Do not dwell in the past and absolutely refrain from mentioning your past relationships and negative experiences. Remember, every first date is a new beginning and should be treated like one. So, feel confident and be optimistic, stick to the present and the future. Show your date that his time is now and that you have no left over baggage.

5. Radiate: Show your inner glow and be positive. There is nothing like a positive and optimistic person. It shows a good level of confidence, which is definitely attractive in many people’s eyes. Bury your negative thoughts and think positive.

6. To hump or not to hump? It has been proven time and time again that one night stands or “Hi how are you, let’s have sex” encounters do not last the test of time or more than 24 hours for that matter. If that is what you are seeking, fine, but just play it SAFE, otherwise you may want to concentrate further on the conversation and leave sex for another time. This will show that you are genuinely interested in your date and wish to take matters further.

7. Easy come, easy go: There is no need to rush the situation. Take your time, give yourself and the other person time to breath and discover how you truly feel about each other. It is not advisable to become too serious too quickly at an early stage in the dating process. This might easily scare off the other person who may not feel ready for a relationship or commitment.

8. Honesty shall set you free: There is no point in beating around the bush. Be true to yourself and your feelings towards this person. If you feel you are not getting the attention you deserve, let yourself be heard. If your interest is not reciprocated, direct your attention on somebody that will appreciate it. Like wise, if you grow dissatisfied or lose interest in the person, let it be known or be prepared for the 10-20 attempts from that person to get a hold of you again. It is highly advisable to be up front and spare both of you negative experience.

9. R.E.S.P.E.C.T (isn’t there a song about that?): One of the most important gay dating tips is to treat the other person with the same level of respect as you feel you deserve. There is no point in wasting time and playing games, return their phone calls and speak to them. If you are not interested, have the decency of letting the person know rather than taking them on a roller coaster ride of uncertainty.

Meeting someone new is never easy, let alone dating them. I hope these 9 simple tips will help guide you in your journey if 2011 is the year of the relationship for you.

-Gossip Guy. You know you love me! -xoxo

Be sure to send in your steamy questions, comments and gossip to Gossip Guy at gossipguy@bell.net.  I’d like to hear from you if you have any top dating tips as well.

5 Secrets You Should Never Spill To Your Partner

Honesty and good communication is the basis to any healthy relationship. But do you really need to tell your partner everything?

A little mystery is a good thing when you start dating around. As for being in a relationship, consider disclosing certain things about yourself, but not everything. You should still leave some room for a little mystery. You don’t have to hide everything about yourself; what are you going to talk about over that bottle of merlot? Or a Bud Light? Here are the top five secrets you should not tell your partner, brought to you by some of my friend’s life lessons!

1. Your Very Personal Hygiene Habits.

As open and progressive as they might be, they do not care an ounce about whether you use tampons, grooming razors, nose and ear trimmers or any personal hygiene products. They also would not like to hear about how you conquered that ingrown toenail, tore out that ingrown hair or popped that pea-sized boil on your arm. Trust me. Even if you’re both avid environmentalists hoping to change the world with every small step you can make, your cutbacks or modifications in personal hygiene are a little too personal. Talking about something simple like brushing your teeth or taking a shower is not a big deal, but somethings you don’t even want to hear about are probably best kept to yourself.

2. More Than Friend Slip-ups.

You were a little drunk. They were a little cute. You both made a mistake by making the friendship a little too close. Now you have a new boy-girl-friend but your friend is still very present in your life, strictly as a friend. Do not tell your partner about that onetime encounter that happened before you started dating them. By all means, share your past with them and have them disclose their pas as well; this is a safety measure that all couples must endure. The secret is that you do not have to put a name on a past sexual encounter. If there are any unresolved feelings between you and your friend, you are going to have to make a choice. However, if you are genuine friends that let a bottle of tequila get in the way, put the bottle down and keep your secret between yourselves.

3. Comparing Penis Sizes.

That is just not fair or right. He knows where he stands in size and showing you his bare parts leaves him just as vulnerable as if you show him yours. Besides, talking about the sizes other men’s dicks would put him off, unless he is into that sort of thing. Which is fine, but making him feel inadequate or like a sideshow freak is not cool. It is very insulting and demeaning. The same goes for you ladies; do not compare vaginas or breasts to others? “My, what a big vagina you have there! It sure is a lot bigger than those naked ladies I see on porn sites! And it is so roomy compared to my last girlfriend’s vagina!” It sounds funny, but not from her mouth in your bed. Keep that thought and do not share it with them, ever.

4. His/Her Friend is Cute.

This statement is just like telling them about that past sexual encounter you had with your very close friend; it could jeopardize a friendship and leave your partner feeling insecure about their looks and relationship. Talking about the attractiveness of another friend, particularly a friend of theirs, may make them feel like they cannot measure up to your standards. Even if you are with them, this statement could make them jealous or lower their self-esteem. Turn the situation around and imagine how you would feel if they thought one of your friends were good-looking. You would feel like you don’t measure up somehow. Just don’t say it, girl.

5. All Your Thoughts on a Whim.

As fascinating as you may be, talking nonstop is annoying. You don’t like it when a friend talks incessantly and neither does your partner. Don’t clam up, but don’t hog the conversation with whatever pops into your head. Besides, you will lose control of your filtering system and say something you don’t mean or it might not come out right (see sections about penis size and the cute friend). Share your ideas with them but use your intuition to gage whether you really want them to know something or you’re saying something for the sake of it.

I always advise honesty in a relationship, but only if it pertains to the relationship. Talking about your nasty personal hygiene may seem like you are being open with them, but you probably are just pushing them away if not cooling them off. Comparing them to others in a destructive way is not healthy, either. Nor is it healthy to leave them feeling insecure about their body or the relationship. Filter out what you would not want to hear about yourself and you two should be fine—for the most part!

Do you have any secrets you wouldn’t share with a partner? Send them into Gossip Guy at gossipguy@bell.net or comment in the comments box below to share your story.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

When First Dates Go Wrong

There inevitably comes a moment during every difficult first date when you pause and think, “I am an utter moron for having ever agreed to this.” But before you resign to the idea of a life of La-Z-Boy armchairs and reruns of The Office, take a moment to try to reconcile the situation. (And no, that doesn’t mean having you best friend call with a beckoning “emergency.”) Here are a few simple ideas for managing those awkward first date moments.

The Silence

Don’t check your Blackberry. Don’t stare at your shoes, their shoes, talk about the décor, panic, vomit. There are ways to break the silence without resorting to the awful, “Boy, isn’t this awkward!” Your best bet is to come prepared. Google your date. While you may feel a little stalker-ish in the moment, you’ll be thanking Twitter later when you can break the ice with an anecdote about your latest dog-walking misadventure (having landed upon his Twitpic of his furry friend just before the date). Come up with a list of things to say when the quiet strikes. Ask about their family, job, travels. You’ll be much more confident if you come prepared.

The Realization

It’ll never work. Sometimes this realization comes within the first five minutes (God help you), and sometimes it’s well into the date. But just because you and your politically-agitated, still-lives-with-mother dinner partner won’t be walking down the aisle anytime soon, it doesn’t mean you can just get up and bail. Here’s one way to grapple through this date going nowhere: think of a single friend who would be perfect for your date, and let the interviewing begin. It’ll become clear to your date that you two won’t jive, but it will keep the conversation going at the very least. And hey, maybe someone will get a match after all.

The Bill

Don’t let it sit there like a patent leather-cased elephant in the room. Make your move, and do it fast. Reach for your purse or wallet just after the check lands on the table. Even if you have no intention of paying, it’s good dating etiquette to offer to split the bill. Don’t argue if they say they’ll pay. The less time spent talking about the check, the better.  

The Goodbye

There’s nothing worse than the awkward handshake-turned-hug. They’re not your bro; there’s no reason for that. Decide what you’re comfortable with beforehand. If you know what you want, beat them to the punch. Go for a quick peck and goodbye, if that’s what you’re after. Prefer to follow their lead? Leave an opening. A second or two of premeditated (on your part, at least) silence and they’ll move to action. Be completely passive, and goodbye will go a lot faster.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

Why It’s Good To Be Single During The Holidays

When the weather gets colder and the snow starts to fall, many people will be cuddling up with their other half under a warm blanket, sipping on hot chocolate. But if you are flying solo this holiday season, there are plenty advantages to being single this time of year. Less gifts to buy, fewer awkward family dinners and more kissing cute people!

More Gifts You’ll Love…
because you bought them! No partner means no time spent searching the clothing section for holiday briefs and socks. Instead, that money you would dish out buying them a cashmere argyle sweater can be used towards you. For example, how does an iPod sound? Plus, the added stress that comes with finding them the perfect gift will be lifted off your shoulders.

More Time with Your Family and Friends
No awkward dinners at your partner’s parent’s house. You don’t have to worry about the creepy drunk uncle who says you look just like his ex or who won’t stop asking when you are going to adopt babies together. Spend time with people you know and love. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

More Fun at the Office Holiday Party
You won’t have to babysit the partner, instead you can let loose with you co-workers. Throw on your sexy gear and matching shoes; who knows, the cute guy/guy in sales could be single too! Mistletoe?

More Eating
Most people dread the thought of gaining those extra five pounds of holiday weight, especially if you have to look like Gisele in your New Years Eve lingerie. This holiday season, eat up! The only opinion that matters is yours and if you love the extra booty, who cares?

Don’t get down if you’re not hooked up during the holidays. It will be an absolutely luxury to be a little more selfish this season. Plus, with all the socializing that comes with Christmas you are bound to meet a multitude of great potential dating partners. It is a whole new kind of holiday shopping: date shopping!

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo