How to Write Personal Ads & Profiles

Attracting the right kind of people in your ads?

Dear Gossip Guy,

I’ve been cruising dating sites for what seems like an eternity and never have any luck finding or communicating with the type of person I want to meet; how do I attract quality people through my ad?

-At A Loss For Words

 

Dear Online Creeper,

Writing personal ads should be considered an art in its own right. For decades personal ads have appeared in magazines and newspapers all over the world, and for decades people have struggled to describe themselves in 25 words or less. It is difficult, impossible really, to fully sum up one’s essence in just a few lines, including likes, dislikes, interests and goals. These days the top quality dating sites offer more sophisticated personal ads, which are usually called profiles. Unlike the older personal ads in newspapers, modern profiles are detailed and in-depth and often help the user to build his or her description by taking a test or answering a series of questions. Even though describing yourself to a virtual stranger will always be difficult, making a free profile and getting yourself in the dating scene can be done if you follow this advice.

If you want to get the best of your personal ads membership, try to present the right image and get people to interact with you by chatting daily, make note of these 10 personal ad tips:

  1. An obvious one – complete your personal ad profile fully. And accurately! There is nothing worse for a browsing member than spending their quality time opening your profile only to find your profile is full of Ask Me statements. So … Be informative, be complete, be thorough, be interesting.
  2. Add a photograph or two or even four! Amazingly, members with photos in their personal ads are likely to get up to 9 times more replies than members without any photo image attached to their profile. Okay, so even if we aren’t all photogenic models, any photo is far better than none at all.
  3. Don’t be aggressive or rude in personal ads. It may be your sense of humor to be sarcastic or cutting, but it doesn’t always come across best in anonymous text. Biting humor in the first instance will not usually attract the desired attention, even if it’s meant to be amusing. That comes once you are chatting face to face.
  4. You may have had a bad experience with a previous partner, but making a list of specific criteria a future partner must meet usually has the effect of making people look elsewhere. Even if they match! We all seek Mr. and Miss Right, but turning dating into a job interview removes every ounce of romance and passion from the occasion.
  5. No matter how you speak in your day-to-day life, don’t use swear or curse words in your profile, personal ad, conversations or emails! They are generally offensive and turn people off. Again, swearing is like sarcasm — people may find your colorful language charming in face-to-face conversations, but without context your cursing may make you seem uneducated or angry. 
  6. Make your personal ad truthful above all things, but also emphasize your best characteristics. Admitting that you are a loner who has no friends will not win you many admirers, but emphasizing that you are a true individual will. Learning to sell yourself a bit without exaggerating is your best bet. 
  7. If you really feel passionate about something say so, don’t try and hide the things that are important to you. If you love partying say so, if your religion is important to you, say so. Be yourself, and be upfront with who you are.
  8. Do not pretend that you are willing to fly half way round the world to meet someone if you are not. It’s not fair to anyone including you. If you are really only looking for someone in your state or close to home then stick with that and make it clear.
  9. Always try and reply to people’s messages and reply in a reasonable amount of time, not weeks later. If you are serious about dating, you are serious about replying to personal messages. Give people the ability to move on to other potential partners if you are not interested. Conversely, don’t email someone weeks later and not expect that they haven’t written you off!
  10. Be positive! The more you project a friendly and positive attitude, the more likely people are going to be attracted to you. Smile in your photo and be inviting in your chats and comments. People who seem bitter, negative or conceited push others away — people on dating websites are often sensitive to rejection, so who would want to take a chance getting to know someone who may end up being cruel or mean? 

 Be patient, it takes time to find someone special using personal ads but it does work. After all, it’s just that one special person that you wish to meet. Sometimes you need to chat to quite a few people first. Know that the missteps and fizzles in chemistry are part of the process. Take your time to complete your personal ads, take your time to chat with many different people, and take your time to get to know someone well. It’s all part of moving toward the day when you find that special someone.

Gossip Guy: Your Southern Alberta LGBTQ Resource

Welcome to Gossip Guy! Your online resource for anything you want to talk about, but should expect the awful truth as a response. The purpose of this blog is to offer advice to anonymous individuals and provide a valuable (if not sometimes comical) resource to the LGBTQ community. Specific questions will always get responses while the general informational library and advice columns will continue to expand. You can send me your questions, comments, scenarios and just about everything else that you would like answers back on while maintaining total aninimity. It’s a policy of this blogger never to reveal a person’s true identity when asking for advice therefore you can ask for advice on anything without fear of disclosure (This does not include the “Latest Gossip” page as it is current events within our community).

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