Dating Boot Camp: Tip #4: The 3rd Law of Attraction

Get a Date, Seal The Deal and Make Your Love Last 

Being gay in the dating world can leave you in the trenches. Take back your dating life with the Dating Boot Camp filled with the tips and tools you need to get a date, seal the deal and make your relationship last. I will post a total of 10 new tips to help you on your way to a better dating life

Tip #4: The 3rd Law of Attraction

Newton’s Third Law of Motion dictates that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Some schools of thought hold the same notion in relation to our attractions. We get, they say, exactly what we put out there. In other words, the type of energy or vibe we project is exactly what we get in return.

Our projected vibe isn’t always obvious–to our eye, anyway. We may think we have an in-it-to-win-it attitude, only to live the same man-on-man nightmares over and over again. Or despite our irresistible charm, looks or wit, men resist us like the opposite end of a magnet. The energy we project is invisible to us, but men seem to pick it up like a natural force. They can tell if we are insecure despite our best efforts in hiding it. They can see the desperation in our eyes with the power of a powerful g-ray vision. They can also see our happiness and confidence gleaming from a bar away. Ever notice how when you’re feeling hot, others seem to make eye contact?

Take comfort, the laws of attraction work both ways. Remember the opposite reaction part? I’m sure you recall that one guy that was a complete turn-off for no particular reason (or at least no reason you can consciously identify)? At first glance, he seemed datable, but later you discovered that the vibe just wasn’t there. Compatibility plays a large role in connections; the energy we project is a major part of compatibility.

Most of us fail to realize, however, that each of us has complete control over the forces surrounding our attractions. We have the power to change others’ reactions towards us by using Newton’s Third Law and changing our own actions. As a degreed techie, I know that understanding Newton’s law is much easier than putting it into practice. The good news is that it’s not impossible. A change in our attitude and approach can change what we get back in return.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

Manthropology: Sex With A Couple

What’s making their bulges so big: The desire to get off with someone else other than each other. 

What’s on their coffee table: Decorative items, coasters.

What’s under their coffee table: Board games for social mixers with other couples, porn (videos and magazines).

What’s in their wallets: Businss cards, charge cards, pictures of each other and their pets, condoms for random consented hook-ups with other guys.

What’s under their bed: More porn, sex toys used on the last guy they had over, extra set of sheets and guest linens.

Family tree: “We’re exploring”

With all of these “open relationships” around, this seems to be happening a lot more than I thought, so I figured I’d better include it in the Manthropology Guide. Other then at a club night, your best chance of hooking up with a hot and horny couple is at a regular cocktail party. Get yourself invited to one that is being hosted by a couple, and you can be sure the place will be crawling with other couples. As the liquor consumption increases, so do your odds of ending up in a three-way. Work the room and you might be lucky enough to score.

They’ll want to take you to their place which is likely to have an enormous bed anyway, so you might as well enjoy it. Once you’re inside, the clothes will come off pretty quickly since everyone present already knows it’s just about the sex. Rule number one: you are going to be more attracted to one of the guys than the other, but you can’t play favorites. If you don’t think you can do this, then keep your eyes closed. That way, you won’t know whose mouth is massaging Mr. Happy, and better yet; you won’t care. Chances are they will treat you like visiting royalty so be prepared for lots of manual, oral, and anal action; often, all at the same time. After a while you won’t know who’s doing what to whom and they’ll be so many condoms on the floor afterward walking to the bathroom will be like walking your way through a mine field.

Sex with a couple will test your versatility title as you know they’ll either a top and bottom or both versatile and will both want to play with you. You not only want to tantalize them with your technique and dazzle them with your diligence, you also want to let them know that you and Little Elvis are up for just about anything they can serve.

Post sex, there is usually no need for you to do anything since they will assume their hosting duties. There will be two of them to handle the warm, wet towel action, condom disposal and some more water for you to rehydrate. I generally don’t recommend a sleepover with couples since you never know what kind of drama might break out in the morning. But if they ask you to stay, and you think you want to, don’t just flop down in the middle; let them decide who goes where and don’t be surprised when you wake up with two boners poking around your booty.

Hot, sweaty sex potential: (More bodies, more heat, more sweat.)

Getting some real estate out of the deal potential: (Very low, but you may snag an invitation to their vacation house for a repeater)

Long-term relationship potential: (A LTR with a couple is something completely different; it’s usually known by the more pedestrian term “House Boy”)

Good stories to tell your friends over brunch potential: (If they’re not copping an attitude, they’ll be pitching tents under the table)

Possible bonus points: Picking up decorating tips from the couple, and knowing you could finally write your own piece for a porno magazine.

Dating Boot Camp: Tip #3: Find New Love By Closing Old Wounds

Get a Date, Seal The Deal and Make Your Love Last 

Being gay in the dating world can leave you in the trenches. Take back your dating life with the Dating Boot Camp filled with the tips and tools you need to get a date, seal the deal and make your relationship last. I will post a total of 10 new tips to help you on your way to a better dating life

Tip #3: Find New Love By Closing Old Wounds.
Reaching the Golden Age of Dating

Many years ago, a friend  relished in his ability to cite the most fabulous of historical monarchs, Elizabeth I. It’s said that the young queen harbored in the Golden Age of British prosperity. Even so, she lost her personal war on love.

“I am married to England,” Elizabeth declared in herring defiance to the miscreant Sir Robert Dudley. She risked her crown for her adorer. He, in return, broke her heart by plotting against her life. She kept him alive despite his treason as a constant reminder of how close she came to danger—declaring her independence from the like of any man. Her primary concern became matters she could control, not unpredictable men.

Modern day love isn’t quite as melodramatic, but my friend had experienced his fare share of no good Dudley’s. His dates always started out with excitement and ended in complete anarchy. Some mini-relationships lasted a few hours, other weeks until they suddenly ended with him left alone in a tower of loneliness and regret. He began dating with extreme caution, assuming that every man would inevitably break his heart.

It’s understandable: Why would he surrender to the monstrous dating scene? He’d been hurt so many times. The crown of his heart proved to be much more fragile than one of a kingdom. Instead of harboring in a new age of love, he wallowed in his lost opportunities.

There needed to be a change if he was ever to break the cycle. In order to make room for better love, he had to free his crowded perceptions.

Far too many of us take the bitter queen approach to love. You see, the mistake Elizabeth made was keeping Lord Robert alive. We too keep our old failures alive in the form of resentment, anger, bitterness and mistrust. And holding on to past failures leaves little room for future possibilities. Our crown jewels don’t always have to be protected in order for us to be fully appreciated by other people. Each opportunity must be approached with a clean bully of possibilities.

Sour subjects exist in every realm of dating potentials. And most of us, at some point or another, have fallen victim to their folly. But better, more affirmative people await our approach. Only by sending old wounds to the gallows can we harbor in a new, more prosperous golden age of dating.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

Dating Boot Camp: Tip #2: Dating Efficiency

Get a Date, Seal The Deal and Make Your Love Last
 

Being gay in the dating world can leave you in the trenches. Take back your dating life with the Dating Boot Camp filled with the tips and tools you need to get a date, seal the deal and make your relationship last. I will post a total of 10 new tips to help you on your way to a better dating life

Tip #2: Dating Efficiency
Use Your Dating Time Wisely
 

As resources become more limited, our lives are becoming more efficient. We thirst for more conscious everything: cars, appliances, materials, and our personal and professional time. Industries and individuals can no longer afford waste of any kind.

Still, despite the limitation of resources, our needs and desires change little (if at all). In relation to romance, the need for companionship remains constant yet the availability of the personal time and energy available for dating dries up faster than an SUV gallon. We’re working longer hours, planning bigger, and wading just above the surface of a crude environment. So, where do we find the time to look for a date?

In times of limited resources, we must manage dating the same as other areas of our lives. The anticipation of finding a partner and the excitement of a potential match is great, but it can become an obsession when we spend countless hours refreshing our inbox, hoping for a new message.

Instead, use your time more wisely with a proactive approach. Set time limits for yourself and be direct about your interests and disinterest. Try not to view your search as a stressor, but an experience that will eventually produce a return on your investment. A better-managed dating approach will optimize your resources and balance your life, making you a better catch in the long run.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

Dating Boot Camp: Tip #1: Cosmic Loneliness

Get a Date, Seal The Deal and Make Your Love Last

Being gay in the dating world can leave you in the trenches. Take back your dating life with the Dating Boot Camp filled with the tips and tools you need to get a date, seal the deal and make your relationship last. I will post a total of 10 new tips to help you on your way to a better dating life.

Tip #1: Cosmic Loneliness
A Man Won’t Cure The Loneliness

In Their Eyes Were Watching God, author Zora Neale Hurston asks, “Did marriage end the cosmic loneliness of the unmated?”

The quick answer is no. As is the theme of Hurston’s classic, any one person’s wholeness is affected by, but not fulfilled through, a relationship. Many of us are of the notion that finding a relationship will complete us. However, despite what our math teacher taught, a half plus a half doesn’t always equal a whole. It takes two complete people to produce the sum of a healthy partnership (or each person needs to be as complete as possible).

They say you must first love yourself before you can be loved or love another. Part of loving yourself is being able to tolerate and enjoy spending time with yourself. Entering into a relationship as a remedy for loneliness or any other need puts undo pressure on your partner and your relationship when it’s you that must actively work to resolve your needs. The relationship may solve your immediate wants, but the issues surrounding your longings will only resurface until you resolve them.

Should we all be content living alone? Of course not. Companionship is a wonderful addition to our lives. We’re human after all. The ideal situation, however, is to allow companionship to compliment our lives and not become a substitute for what’s missing. A partner won’t cure the loneliness.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

People You Shouldn’t Date

Getting involved with these people is more likely to result in heartache than happiness.

It’s a fact of love. There are certain people you just shouldn’t date. Of course, they’re often the very people you find yourself wanting to date.

Now, this isn’t to say these relationships can never work out. I’m sure many people can come up with an example of each of these relationships that turned out just tickety-boo.
But that doesn’t make me wrong. Getting involved with these people is more likely to result in heartache than happiness.

Your Employee

The reasons for not dating your employee are similar to those for not dating your boss, just in reverse. Your colleagues will question your judgement and your other underlings could resent you. Lover’s spats will create office tension and the power dynamic (mentioned before) can rock you out of your position of authority. Things can get ugly if you need to lay off or fire your lover. Not to mention, there’s a good chance you might get fired yourself.

Your Therapist

Oh, what a cliché! Your therapist really listens, he/she understands you better than anyone else, you can really open up! Yeah. That’s a therapist’s job. You should question the moral integrity of any doctor who would violate professional ethics by getting romantically involved with a patient. Your vulnerability makes the action a predatory one. You’ve likely told this person things you’ve never told anyone and this means they know too much.

Someone Else’s Husband/Wife

Obvious. Right? Then why do so many people get caught up in extramarital affairs? Nothing good can come of being the other woman/man. You’re part of a deception, you’re hurting someone and you’re enabling your ‘partner´ to be an irresponsible, self centred liar. Cheating is childish and cruel and you will only wind up getting hurt in the long run. Some people waste years of their lives in such relationships, only to wake up one day and realize the opportunity for true love and a family may have passed them by. Don’t do it to yourself.

Your Friend’s Ex

Unless your friend is really cool, even if they say it’s OK, it’s not. They’re lying. Dating a friend’s ex can cause a world of hurt. Even if your friend is the one who initiated the break up, there can be residual feelings of romance and resentment. It will pain your friend to see you together and, if you decide to try to avoid that situation, you’ll have to make sure you’re never all in the same place at the same time, which can be a nightmare. Also, you might find yourself worrying that there’s still a spark between the two. And you might be right.

Your Own Ex

OK, I flip flopped about putting this one in but came down on the side of inclusion. Here’s why: you broke up. And even if there’s love and affection, there’s also bad blood. Resentments, in most cases, will eventually bubble to the surface and boil over and you’ll be right back where you started – apart and hating each other. Because remember that annoying thing they did that used to drive you CRAZY? They still do it.

John Mayer (Just for Laughs)

Yeah, he’s kind of cute and he says your body is a wonderland. But he’s a(n alleged) womanizing heartbreaker! And we use John here to represent all womanizing heartbreakers. Stay away. Also, he blabs about his love life to the press. Jessica Simpson was apparently none to impressed when he referred to her as ‘sexual napalm’ in an interview (though some might see that as positive publicity). Rumour is that Taylor Swift’s song ‘Dear John’ is about her romance with Mayer. Oh, for that matter, don’t date Taylor Swift, unless you want to wind up the subject of one of her songs.

Know of any other obvious bad people to date? Send your comments to Gossip Guy at gossipguy@bell.net or comment in the comment box below to give your insight.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

Happy New Years: Top 10 Tips For Better Sex

I thought that since a new year is upon us (how were those hangovers kids?) that I would start it off with something a little spicier then usual; some advice for behind closed doors (open for some of you naughtier kids).

A good sex life takes time and effort to maintain. It won’t always be easy — our busy lives are taxing and often leave us tired and devoid of the imagination and motivation required to keep up the pace. Having good sex doesn’t necessarily mean spending hours and hours of frolicking; it can be as simple as doing something a little different just for a change.

Therefore, it’s important to add a few more stimulating aspects to your sex life to keep things interesting.

Here are Gossip Guy’s top 10 tips for better sex, which should keep the two of you hot for some time to come.

No.10 Blindfold Them

Sexual pleasure has many dimensions, but the most important sexual organ we have is our brain. When one sense is hindered, our other senses — via the brain — clamor to compensate. For example, a deaf person has increased sensory awareness — sight, smell, touch, and vibrations.

For our No. 10 entry on our top 10 tips for better sex, we’re telling you that you can tap into this innate ability of ours and use it to your advantage. Blindfolding your partner increases their sensory awareness. They don’t know where you are or what you are going to do next. This creates anticipation for better sex — the tease. Tease mercilessly with sensory objects, such as a feather or your tongue. Start off softly, as this excites nerve endings and makes them far more sensitive. Be careful not to over stimulate the nerve endings, however, because after a while the neurons stop firing with such intensity and the sensation becomes null and void.

No.9 Give Them Instructions

After a while you may think you know how to please your partner in every way, but this is very rarely true. There is always something you haven’t tried, and there is bound to be something one of you always does that could be done differently.

To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you know it all, and are at each others’ mercy as teacher. Talk about things you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from each partner, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes “the way it’s done.” Lose this sex myth and put yourself in the student’s chair for a while to achieve better sex.

No.8 Massage

Sensual touch is one of the most highly relaxing and sexy things you can do for your partner. Our bodies are almost without exception tense in some area, if not many areas. This hinders our energy flow — including sexual energy flow. Imagine a car that has a clogged fuel filter: The fuel (our energy) can’t get to where it needs to go quickly and smoothly, and the car performs inefficiently.

A relaxing, sensual massage can unlock the body to some very intense orgasms and much better sex in the end. The ability to relax your partner in this way should be high on your list of skills to master. The same goes for them: The difference between a deeply relaxing massage and a sensual massage is in the manner of touch — you don’t want to relax them too deeply because they will probably fall straight to sleep.

The key to better sex in this case is to keep the senses alert, but the body relaxed. This means a firm touch, coupled with some sensory feather light caresses. Once you’ve relaxed the major muscles — shoulders and back — work your way down to the buttocks. Strokes can then start to wander near to, but not on, her inner thighs, butt crease and endogenous zones. Don’t forget the hands and feet — there are thousands of nerve endings in our hands and feet that are very sensitive to touch. If you have no idea what a good massage feels like or how to perform one, spend some time in “lesson time” with your partner and learn what you both like, or just run your hands all over her body — all over. Don’t skip to the hot spots or you’ll ruin the effect.

No.7 Have Them Dress Up

Pretending to be something you’re not comes easily to some people. However, it has its benefits when done for fun. Stepping out of the role of being “yourself” can be a fun way to give each other permission to behave differently for better sex. Playing the role of someone else during sexual play is a very enjoyable way to give your partner some different sensations. Role playing is a great way to have better sex and to have fun with your partner in a lighthearted but sexy way — but don’t forget that you can play too.

No.6 Tell Them Your Fantasies

Talking about your sexual fantasies with your partner is a very healthy form of sex play. It increases communication with your partner and helps you get to know each other better. Yes, you may be surprised by what comes out of their mouth, but this works both ways. Keep it light at first and don’t throw them in the deep end with fantasies about people you both know or reveal fetishes you aren’t sure about. Sit back with a glass of wine and keep your clothes on — for now. Fantasy play can also be incorporated into a game for better sex. Use your imagination and keep it sexy. Take it in turns and see where it leads you.

No.5 Play A Game

Get a pack of cards and play strip poker for better sex. It may seem like something you would have done when you were in high school (given the opportunity), but adult strip poker is a good way to get naked. Once you are both naked (or nearly naked), you can start on the really fun part: A loss means the other person gets to choose what action is performed on them by the loser. Time limits like one minute on said action means that it is a prolonged game of seduction, which by the end will have you both clamoring to be both the winner and the loser. There are many other games you can play “strip” to, as long as there is regular winner and loser rewards and punishments. The great part about these games is that you can both ask the other person to do something in a certain way that you may not necessarily have ever done before. It can get rather filthy, and definitely lead to better sex in the end.

No.4 Dirty Talk

Talking dirty has turned people on for decades and will continue to do so because it has something other sex play doesn’t: words. Because our brains are our largest sexual apparatus, we respond to the spoken word automatically — especially when someone says our name. The spoken word evokes emotions, sensations and blood flow to various regions, depending on the topic.

This works very much in your favor when it comes to talking dirty to your lover because people are especially susceptible to what goes in their ears (and I don’t mean cotton buds or ear candles). Talking dirty is, however, an art form and when done badly can result in fits of giggles (which, let’s face it, ain’t so bad but isn’t quite the goal here). Don’t let this deter you.

No.3 Try A New Position

You already know how to make them orgasm in two ways (probably). You repeat these regularly because they work — there’s no harm in that. However, if you never try any new positions, how will you ever know? New positions need a reasonably high level of arousal in your lover, so choose your time to strike a new pose when they are quite obviously feeling very randy.  

There is no limit to the number of ways to have sex, so you can use your imagination and come up with as many weird and wonderful inventions as you desire. Simply changing locations can dramatically change the position, so consider this too (for example, on top of the washing machine, on a bench, beanbag, or table). 

No.2 Use A Cock Ring

Cock rings slow the drain of blood out of your erection, and keep you harder for longer. A very hard penis stimulates slightly differently — and much better — than one that is getting soft around the edges. Cock rings are inexpensive and usually nice to look at, and make an interesting male sex toy to add to your collection. Cock rings ensure that you can maintain the pace without faltering for better sex. This is very pleasing to your sexual friend. 

No.1 Try A New Place

Sex in a new locale is definitely up there in exciting things to do for better sex. You can take a drive somewhere secluded where you can get a bit risqué. Try a public place (not too public), or simply move to a different room or area in your home — or even someone else’s home. Whatever tickles your fancy. There are a million and one different places to have sex other than your home and in your bed — use them.

So what do you do to play it up in the bedroom? Share your sexy tips with Gossip Guy at gossipguy@bell.net or comment in the comments box below.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo