Dating Boot Camp: Tip #1: Cosmic Loneliness

Get a Date, Seal The Deal and Make Your Love Last

Being gay in the dating world can leave you in the trenches. Take back your dating life with the Dating Boot Camp filled with the tips and tools you need to get a date, seal the deal and make your relationship last. I will post a total of 10 new tips to help you on your way to a better dating life.

Tip #1: Cosmic Loneliness
A Man Won’t Cure The Loneliness

In Their Eyes Were Watching God, author Zora Neale Hurston asks, “Did marriage end the cosmic loneliness of the unmated?”

The quick answer is no. As is the theme of Hurston’s classic, any one person’s wholeness is affected by, but not fulfilled through, a relationship. Many of us are of the notion that finding a relationship will complete us. However, despite what our math teacher taught, a half plus a half doesn’t always equal a whole. It takes two complete people to produce the sum of a healthy partnership (or each person needs to be as complete as possible).

They say you must first love yourself before you can be loved or love another. Part of loving yourself is being able to tolerate and enjoy spending time with yourself. Entering into a relationship as a remedy for loneliness or any other need puts undo pressure on your partner and your relationship when it’s you that must actively work to resolve your needs. The relationship may solve your immediate wants, but the issues surrounding your longings will only resurface until you resolve them.

Should we all be content living alone? Of course not. Companionship is a wonderful addition to our lives. We’re human after all. The ideal situation, however, is to allow companionship to compliment our lives and not become a substitute for what’s missing. A partner won’t cure the loneliness.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

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Manthropology: Sex With A Gym Natzi

What’s making his bulge so big: Packet of protein powder.

What’s in his gym bag: MP3 player, at least nine phone numbers of guys he’s met at the gym, extra set of workout clothes, self-tanner, razor for body-shave touch-ups, velcro weight belt, GNC Gold Card, empty water bottles, PowerBars, creatine, 2-in-1 shampoo and body wash.

What’s on his coffee table: Men’s Health Magazine, Flex, GQ, International Male catalog, low-carb snacks.

What’s under his coffee table: Two twenty-five pound dumbbells, grip flexors, two pairs of dirty socks (which double as cum rags for autoerotic sofa sessions)

What’s in his fridge: Five-pound pack of chicken breasts, rice, skim milk, light beer and pre-portioned meals.

What’s in his wallet: Seven dollers, business card of a “photographer” he met at the gym who asked him for pose for a calendar, membership card to after-hours dance club, more phone numbers of guys he met at the gym, key card for parking garage of a law firm he works as an assistant for.

What’s under his bed: More Men’s Health Magazine, old work-out posters, the shirt he plans to fill out completely before wearing it dancing.

Family tree: Shy guy, pouty pouf and silent stud

The Gym Natzi (GN) spends just about all of his spare time sculpting his ever-more-fabulous body, so it goes without saying that the place to meet one is at the gym, or at the nearby protein shake bar. The pickup may be a little tough, since it will be hard to get him to take his eyes off of himself long enough to notice you. And whenever you think you’re having a mirror scope, you can bet your bottom doller he’s not looking at you. He’s just checking out his traps from a different angle.

The only way to get time is to ask him for some assistance with an excercise or a machine you undoubtly already know how to use. You can also try asking if he’ll spot for you, or if you can share his set. But you’d better be buff enough to warrant his attention; otherwise he’ll just lumber on past. If you really want to lay it on thick, try opening with a compliment on some well-developed but little-known muscle he’s cultivated:
You: “Hey, you’ve got awesome anterior lattisimus rear deltoids man. How do you target those?”
GN: “Um with dumbbells.”
You can see where this is headed. The average GN is not known for his conversational skills, although if you stick with excercise talk, you’ve got a good shot for at least five more sentances from him. Don’t be offended if he constantly turns away from you to look at himself in the mirror while you are speaking. That’s just what GN’s do. If you’re looking for action right then and there, invite him for a postworkout protein shake, then cut to the chase.

You’ve maneuvered him back to your place, you’ve offered him a PowerBar, and it’s time to get down to action. Since the GN is used to being worshipped from afar, you’re going to have to make the first move. I recommend opening with a little postworkout massage action. He takes the bait, and you’re off. The thing about Gym Natzi sex is that it’s really about the visuals; sort of like watching a porno, just a little more up close and personal, and you happen to be starring in it. Knowing this, your best bet is to go for a quick linear progression: some manual action, then a little oral expertise, and finish with deep sea diving. Remember to keep your eyes on him the whole time since thats the reason you dragged him back to your place in the first place. And since you’ll be running into him at the gym again, be polite and at least ask for his phone number, even though you know damn well that you’ll never call. Then send him and his oversize gym bag packing.

Hot, sweaty sex potential: Unless he really gets into it the GN will most likely just enjoy the attention his body got for him.

 

Getting some real estate out of the deal potential: Zero (0). No need for an explanation on this point.

Long-term relationship potential: (That is, if you are in-shape and if you consider showing him off to your friends for a few months long-term. Never forget, gain an ounce of fat and he’ll be yesterday’s news as well)

 

Good stories to tell your friends over brunch potential: (It’s more about the notch on your weight belt than the actual sex)

 

Possible bonus points: Scamming some free personal training sessions out of him; your friends will be green with envy.

Have you ever hooked up with a guy from the gym? Write in to Gossip Guy at gossipguy@bell.net to share your story.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

Best of Gossip Guy & Readership Explosion

336 Visitors per day in November 2010, up +94 per day since last month!

Readership has exploded here at Gossip Guy! I averaged approximately 336 visitors per day in the month of November 2010. That’s +94 hits per day since October 2010 last month and +296 hits per day since September 2010. That’s incredible growth in just two months.

Tracking back and drilling down into my site statistics it was easy to track why Gossip Guy is receiving all of this attention and it can be related back to my most popular posts and articles below:

  1. The Gossip Guy homepage
    Landing page for most visitors
  2. Political Controversy vs. Misconduct of a Public Figure
    The President of ULSU Pride, the Lethbridge gay university group, makes shocking public statement and Matthew Young retorts outraged.
  3. Gossip Guy Does Not Reflect What GALA/LA Wants to Embody in the Community? DUH!
    Yours truly is removed from GALA/LA publication “The Occasion” as a result of reporting on the misconduct of the ULSU President. Questionable? YES!
  4. More Controversy: Gay Students vs. Gossip Guy Now?
    Gay study body at the University attacks Gossip Guy for exercising freedom of press upon disgraceful report of ULSU President’s behavior.
  5. 50 Reasons to Date a Geek
    A listing of why geeks are in this season.

It is quite apparent that I started some political movement while reporting on the whole ULSU Pride President, Emma Ladouceur vs. Matthew Young issue. But, someone had to do it. Both gay association boards in Lethbridge advocate against hate towards the LGBTQ community; so suddenly when one of their own figure heads makes obscene statements in public they choose to ignore it. It should be recognized. However, it seems that both groups are quite happy to sweep it under the rug.

This issue went cross country when Gossip Guy fell under the spotlight of SERIAL SEAN, a media publicist, writer and entertainer from Toronto, Ontario who had heard about the controversial debate. He sent interview questions out to collaborate the story from each person or group involved in the debate (Emma, GALA/LA, ULSU Pride, Lethbridge University, the University Student’s Union and Yours Truly) and will be publishing the completed article for his publisher soon. Watch Gossip Guy for more information and a posting of the completed article.

Writing a blog has also brought to light some facts for me:

  1. Not everyone is going to like me if I speak my mind. I have to be prepared for good and bad press back from the public as well because not everything I will write about will be popular among certain groups. (Read: At this moment as GALA/LA, ULSU Pride & some of the gay students at Lethbridge University).
  2. I have to keep an objective point of view and if I choose to discuss something of controversial value; I must also be prepared to dig my heels in and stand up for what I believe in (See: Having A Voice).
  3. I need to be prepared to be amazed by the people in our community who value, appreciate and take to heart the content I provide for them. See below for my five favorite comments about what I wrote standing up for my beliefs on Gossip Guy:
    1. Mathew Beaudoin: Submitted on 2010/11/04 at 7:00 PM
      Can we honestly say that this is a surprise. GALA/LA has a fairly consistent recent history of shutting down free speech, new ideas, and people who happen to have different views. The organization has devolved into an incestuous monarchy devoid of the values it was created to promote and defend. I see more internal discrimination from GALA than directed toward the community. I can’t imagine the disappointment the founding members must feel.But that’s just my two cents.
      Comment from: Gossip Guy Does Not Reflect What GALA/LA Wants to Embody in the Community? DUH!
    2. Stacy Green: Submitted on 2010/11/11 at 5:16 PM
      Dear: Gossip Guy,Firstly, I want to thank you for creating your website. I like it.

      Secondly, I’d like you to know – that there are those of us in the community who share many of your opinions. I’ve only recently been aware of your site, and have yet to really explore everything, but I thought it important that someone take the time to show you some support amid all the rhetoric.Indeed, public figures (regardless of age, context, or sincerity) have a distinctly higher responsibility to the example they set. To suggest that a public figure should be excused of their responsibility to their position; based on what their friends think about them is not only insulting to the entire community, but it clearly shows ignorance of the point you’re trying to make.

      The comment was published as a statement, not an opinion, not a funny figure of speech. That constitutes slander, libel, and certainly points to defamation. People who represent certain authority or credibility within a community have an important role. A responsible role, and a role that is not “forgotten” simply because of someone’s personality quirks.

      To you; GossipGuy – I tip my hat, and again “thank you” for at least trying to be a positive influence on a community which deserves it. The talent and skills of our community are far greater than others I have experienced. The passion, angst, successes, and even failures of the Southern Alberta Gay Community are important enough to take seriously. The idea that any member of our community would “bash” another individual is shameful. To suggest that one should “get to know her” before judging her obviously ill chosen words, is insulting to the entire community.

      Finally: The very idea that a group which has claimed to be the “voice of the LGBT community” in Southern Alberta for so long; censoring and supporting such foolishness – well, I’m very disappointed to say the least.

      I hope you keep up the good work. I hope the community moves past this silliness.
      Cheers!
      Stacy
      Comment from: Having A Voice

    3. Lance Tayler: Submitted on 2010/11/28 at 10:47 PM
      I commend you gossip guy for being so transparent and post all correspondence between the board and yourself. Its not too often we see this kind of transparency. The fact that you are trying to share what is really happening to censor you should make us think twice about who we elect as representative of the organization. Every one needs to be responsible for what they say and if you dont want it published then dont say it. Nothing is really private anymore.You have shown courage and character by sticking up for what you represent even though people dont all agree with it and want to use their power to shut your voice. That kind of power is dangerous and its what we should all stand up against. So keep on talking mr gossip guy and I will keep listening.
      Comment from: Gossip Guy Does Not Reflect What GALA/LA Wants to Embody in the Community? DUH!
    4. Former ULSU Club President: Submtted on 2010/11/30 at 11:01 PM
      As a former president of a fairly successful ULSU club, and homosexual member of the community, I can only chuckle at the conduct of ULSU Pride (formerly GALIA) executive members. The club has always been a clique of horrible ambassadors of the community. Sitting in on council votes in years past at which GALIA did not get their way, it was commonplace to see executive members gripe and complain about how unfairly they were treated, always claiming it was because of their sexuality.

      Newsflash: It is because you are petty people with thinly veiled agendas. Matthew Young and Gossip Guy, my hat goes off to the both of you for sounding out against this behaviour. I felt compelled to remain silent as voicing my opinion would not have been viewed as professional conduct expected of club executives. GALIA (and now ULSU Pride) was never a safe or comfortable place for me as a homosexual student in a very conservative town, and I was certainly not the only one at the U of L to feel that way.

      I can only hope that years passing will lead to a new and improved club, which will actually live up to the proposed and current (but obviously abandoned ) mission statements.
      Comment from: Gossip Guy Does Not Reflect What GALA/LA Wants to Embody in the Community? DUH!

    5. Confused: Submitted on 2010/11/03 at 2:27 PM
      Exactly what is the positive image portrayed by the President of ULSU Pride spouting off “I suck dick for coke”? That is not exactly the representation a minority group who is fighting for acceptance amongst peers needs. It is exactly those types of duragratory remarks that set off a rash of gay suicides and works like the Trevor Project were made to stand against. Something wrong with this entire scenerio that the person practicing freedom of the press is condemned, and the core problem is not being addressed. It is no wonder there is such a division in the Gay community of Lethbridge when the so called leaders act like this!
      Comment from: Gossip Guy Does Not Reflect What GALA/LA Wants to Embody in the Community? DUH!

Its words like those that really do conquer all to give me a sense of purpose and accomplishment in what I’m doing. In closing I want to thank you for being the most important part of Gossip Guy, the readers. It’s you people who keep coming back that drive me to write and succeed. I never expected the Gossip Guy blog to become so popular; but the evidence is there in the statistics as well as the IP addresses I’m tracking from pretty much everywhere.

Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

Dating Red Flags: When to Call it Quits

When you first start dating that great new catch every instance of their being immediately sparks an adrenaline rush. They call, they text, they arrive to take you out and you get that rush – that sense of exhiliration. The conversation is flowing, you have mutual interests, he’s a great kisser and you have a good time; you can’t wait to see him again, naturally. However; over an unpredetermined span of time you might begin noticing a few things, but shrug them off because that would be admitting defeat. Truth is, you’re only ultimately defeating yourself and causing more damage in the long run then addressing the issues and/or simply cutting your loses and moving on if it’s a big problem. Here are a few things to watch out for while playing the dating game that could signal “It’s time to move on”.

1. He has to fix his car this weekend (again!). (Or any other sorted excuse that keeps popping up)

We all have busy lives, filled with plenty of work, errands and chores, but a guy who is invested in his relationship will find time to spend with you. Yes, it’s that simple. If he’s forever “too busy,” he’s showing you where you fall on his list of priorities.

Bottom line: His excuses start making excuses? Dump him.

2. You find pictures of your best friend on his computer boarderlining nudity.

Infidelity comes in many forms – no pun intended. A lot of dilemmas involve virtual flirtations and cyber-relationships. But this kind of “innocent” (at least that’s how he might explain it) involvement outside your twosome can be just as damaging as an actual affair. And your best friend? It would be hard to imagine a legit reason for this one.

Bottom line: Buh-bye.

3. He “just wants to cuddle.”

Problems in a relationship will follow you both into the bedroom, too. There’s nothing wrong with a guy who wants to cuddle, but if that’s all he wants, well…there’s probably something going on that you two need to talk about. Don’t assume he’s cheating, though. He could be stressed out, depressed, experiencing the side effects of medication or feeling distant because of a problem you two are facing. Delicately broach the subject without accusing him of not satisfying you and see what you can find out.

Bottom line: Give it time.

4. He calls out someone else’s name during nookie.

Hmmm, not a lot of excuses for this one, either.

Bottom line: Unless he gives a plausible reason before his clothes are back on, adios.

5. He cheats…again.

While an affair — emotional or otherwise — can do serious damage to a relationship, it doesn’t have to mean the end. If he is truly and sincerely sorry for the affair, willing to identify and address the issues in your union that caused him to stray in the first place and makes a commitment to earning back your trust, there may be some hope. On the other hand there’s that old saw, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” How do you know if you’ve got a player on your hands? Pay attention to his actions and not just his words. If repairing what’s broke in your union ain’t top of his list — and that doesn’t mean through superficial gestures like buying you a nice gift or turning on the charm for a spell — don’t be surprised when he cheats again.

Bottom line: Then there’s that other old saw: If the mule kicks you once, the mule is stupid. If the mule kicks you twice… Dump him.

6. You find out he’s been lying about his finances and couldn’t possibly pay off all his debts until, using conservative calculations, close to the year 2050.

A reasonable amount of debt does not necessarily signal a bad catch, but lying about major issues does. Maybe he fibbed because he didn’t want you to think he can’t manage money, you say. Maybe that’s true. But how did he accumulate so much debt? (Paying off medical bills from a sudden illness? Online gambling addiction?) If you two are talking long-term, are your money management styles compatible? Will you be able to trust him with the checkbook? More importantly, why is he hiding something that would obviously have a big impact on you and your life together? Not to mention your credit rating.

Bottom line: You’re not insensitive and materialistic if you show him the door; it means you’re looking for someone who won’t fritter away your hard-earned cash – and who is open with you about his shortcomings.

7. You tell him how excited–and a little nervous–you are about going back to school and he tries to discourage you.

If he’s to be a keeper, your guy should be your lead cheerleader. Not that he shouldn’t share his opinion when he thinks you’re headed down the wrong path, but — if he truly cares for you — he will push you to accomplish your goals.

Bottom line: Don’t waste your precious time with anyone who tries to hold you back, belittle your ambitions or seems jealous or bitter about what you want out of life.

8. He has been “looking” for work since you met him but never seems to have any solid prospects lined up. And although he spends a lot of time on the Internet, you’ve peeked over his shoulder and he’s not on work-related websites.

There’s no reason each partner in a relationship shouldn’t contribute when it comes to money, but do you want to shoulder the entire burden? Finding employment can be extremely time-consuming since there are a lot of avenues available when one is diligently looking for work; if he’s got so much free time in his schedule, he’s not looking as hard as he claims. Talk to him about how you can help – maybe he feels overwhelmed or a little depressed by his lack of success.

Bottom line: If he takes steps in the right direction, give it time. If he spends more time surfing than polishing his résumé, it may be time to resume your own search – for a new beau.

9. You suggest seeing a counselor together and he refuses to even try it.

Not everyone feels at home in a therapist’s office but if it’s important to you and he won’t budge, that says something about how he’s going to approach other decisions in your relationship. What’s the harm in indulging you for a session, especially if there’s a problem you two need to resolve? Try to find out what his objections are. Why does it make him uncomfortable? His answers should shed some light.

Bottom line: A couple needs to have ways to work through problems together. If your methods are very different and you’re each closed to the other’s approach, you’re going to run into repeated roadblocks.

10. He tells you to shut up, swears at you, pushes you down “by accident” or even “just once,” tries to keep you from spending time with your friends or accuses you of cheating on him or looking at other guys.

Girlfriend, you’re out of there — these are common early warning signs of abuse, and you’re putting yourself in danger by sticking around.

Bottom line: Seek outside help if you need it, and put your safety above everything else.

Have you ever decided to stick with a guy who has exhibited behaviours you are not comfortable with to “make” the relationship work? Or have you ever been put into a situation where you have to raise the flag and take the reins to fix your relationship? Write in to Gossip Guy at gossipguy@bell.net to share your story.

//Gossip Guy, you know you love me -xoxo

NEW SECTION

DISCLAIMER: Warning, some pages contained in this section are generated for mature individuals over the age of 18 in Canada and 21 in the United States. If you are not of the age of consent you are obligated to continue no further. The Information Insemination section of Gossip Guy was created for the purpose of ensuring healthy choice information was available to the LGBTQ community in Southern Alberta.

The section will focus on health, sexual health, lifestyle, physical education and nutritional choices and will continue to grow as time progresses.

Should you have any specific requests for information please don’t hesitate to send me a message at gossipguy@bell.net and I’ll do my best to get the information up quickly.

Information Insemination can be access here.

//Gossip Guy, you know you love me -x0x0

Lethbridge Pride Fest Elections Still Open

Vote for Your Pride Board

Run for the board! Make your vote count!

This Just In Gossip Guy Fans,

As some of you may know, Lethbridge Pride Fest had their Annual General Meeting October 4, 2010 where some of their positions for the 2010/2011 board were filled. The gossip around town is that there are still quite a few board openings left which resulted in another meeting, this time with better notice (from what I heard the community was quite in a huff about the lack of adequite notification).

If you want to run for the board, or think you would like to attend to make your vote count towards a responsible and dedicated individual you should attend this meeting to ensure a responsible board is elected to create this year’s diversity festival.

The election meeting will take place:
 October 25, 2010, @ 6:30 pm
Catwalk Salon, 618 3rd Avenue South

Gossip Guy has been advised that application to the board is necessary but is as simple as a short email to the current board advising that you’re interested in <insert position name> and that you feel that you’d represent the position well because <insert awesome reason(s) why>.

For all the information please visit their website at www.lethbridgepridefest.ca.

//Gossip Guy. You know you love me -xoxo

*********************************
Lethbridge Pride Fest is now accepting applications to fill the following positions:

Treasurer, Volunteer Coordinator, Graphic Design Director, Marketing Director as well as Events Director.

These are board positions, and those elected will be responsible for the governance of the organization as well as planning of the festival.

Some of the responsibilities include:

Treasurer:
• Maintaining Financial Reports.
• Preparing accurate presentation of financial reports.

Volunteer Coordinator:
• Recruiting volunteers to participate in Festival.
• Maintaining database of volunteers.

Graphic Design Director:
• Maintaining Website.
• Maintaining web based design needs.

Marketing Director
• Promoting the organization through Television and Print Media.
• Promoting the Festival through Television and Print Media.

Events Director
• Organizing events.
• Maintains details of events.

Each Director will chair a committee of their role. For example, the Events Director will chair a committee that meets to organize events (Events Committee). The Director will then be responsible for reporting progress including notes/minutes to the board.

We are looking for sincere, dedicated and committed individuals.

You can expect to commit at least five hours a month to the board and committees, including attending a monthly board meeting and committee meeting. As the festival moves closer, commitment will increase significantly.

If you’re interested in one or more of the positions, please email your application to apply@lethbridgepridefest.ca by NOON October 25, 2010.

Manthropology: Sex With A Do-Me Queen


What’s making his bulge so big:
It’s all him, and he’s not afraid to show it off.

What’s in his pockets: A magnum condom, sunglasses for the morning after walk of shame, cock ring, and a pocket toothbrush.

What’s in his wallet: Membership card to a sex club, membership card to an after-hours club, gym membership card, business card from a taxi service, prescription for Kwell lotion and a phone number or address of his last trick.

What’s he driving: Any kind of 4-Wheeler, usually a Jeep

What’s on his coffee table: Empty cigarette packs, match books from various clubs, empty condom wrappers (they never made it to the bedroom), and a bar napkin with some guy’s name on it.

Family tree: Silent Stud, One-Night Wonder, Circuit Queen, Body Natzis, Brian Kinney (QAF).

The Do-Me Queen (DMQ) will have both a great body and a large personal unit. Armed as such, the DMQ is truly and totally conceited (at least in bed), and as long as gay men worship large units, he will get away with it.Nonetheless, adding one to your list of bedmates is something you should do once. You may never want it again, but at least you can say you’ve been there, and done that.

Like Starbucks, DMQ’s can be found on just about any corner in gay civilization, and you can be sure he will be showing off his goods. He’s the one with the skimpiest shorts at the gym, the one standing right under the brightest spotlight at the bar, the guy that made stock in spandex a great investment. Once you’ve found him, picking him up shouldn’t be too hard since the DMQ is usually quite eager to let everyone know what size shoe he wears. The only hard part will be fighting off all of the other size queens circling him like sharks. Any opening will do to catch his attention, I recommend the direct approach.

Your place or his is fine. Since he normally scores a lot, his bedroom will be well-appointed with any high quality sexnology paraphernalia you may need. Once you get him into bed, the DMQ will do what he does best: lie down on his back and cross his arms behind his head. This not only makes his upper pecs, bis, traps and abs ripple to perfection, but also makes it clear that he will not be doing much to make your toes tingle. You knew this going in, so get over it.

Your encounter with the DMQ will be all about the visuals, so feast your eyes while you can; it’s also a good chance for you to practice your best oral action on a larger unit. The DMQ will probably want to go on to full sex with you, and he’ll be really good at it, since he’s been around the block a few times. Just don’t be offended if he spends more time watching himself instead of looking deeply into your eyes.

Once the deed is done, grab a quick shower to freshen up, then clear out. You’ll probably pass someone else on the way up as you head down the stairs.

Hot, sweaty sex potential: (Even thought it’s all about him, the full-sex part may amp up the sweat factor.)

Getting some real estate out of the deal potential:
(ZERO)

Long-term relationship potential:

Good stories to tell your friends over brunch potential:

Possible bonus points: Steal his extra large cock ring as a trophy.